"Work Communication Skills"
A Talking Clock?
Proudly showing off her newly leased downtown apartment to a couple
of friends late one night, a drunk Female yuppie led the way to her
bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.
"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the friend's asked.
"Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking clock" she drunkenly replied.
"A talking clock - seriouiouously?"
"Yup." "Hmmm (hic)."
"How's it work?" the second friend asked, squinting at it.
"Just Watch" she said.
She picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash ' and
stepped back. Her three mates stood looking at one another for a moment
in astounded silence.
Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed "For f*#k's
sake you stupid b#*%! , it's ten past three in the f*#!**# morning!!!"
The Good , the Bad and the real Ugly
Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.
Good : Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.
Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly : So are you.
Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several por n n movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.
Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.
Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.
Good : You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections.
Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend.
Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hoooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly : She makes more money than you do